I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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