So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
tell me about the fingering
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