My brain says no but my pants say off.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
