i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
