I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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