dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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