i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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