did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
