I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
