well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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