do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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