So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
