She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
