the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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