there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
