Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
