I just cut my nipple shaving
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
