3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
