Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
