i think my mom watched the whole time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
