i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize