i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
