If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
