quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
