So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
