sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
