You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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