why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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