I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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