you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
