If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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