Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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