if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
