I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
