when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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