you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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