I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
