I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can text with my tongue
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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