i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
