Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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