Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
