like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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