I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
