What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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