Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
