the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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