this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
