Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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