The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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