Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
