well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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