So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
