Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize