nut hugger
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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