hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
