My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
