I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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