Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We named our party play list daddy issues
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
