you guys were way drunker than both of me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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