I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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