I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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